Death

So this weekend, I went with my wife to his cousin funeral. I did not the the kid, and yes he was just a kid, 19. I mean he was just starting his life. His sister was really close to him and his friends and family were just as close to him and here I am starting to get teary and depressed. I mean I did not want to go at all but it was my wife's family and had to go. It make you think about your own funeral, I know it sound depressing but really we never think about it.

I have "life insurance", still don't why we call it that, just in case something happens. I want to make sure the my family is ok if I go but then you think about your funeral, cremation or buried? My wife and I talked about it and she wants to be cremated, me not really sure but I do know one thing, when I go I want everyone to dress up and have a big party and just celebrate my life and who I was. I mean it is bad enough that I am gone but as the preacher said at the funeral "we will always have them in our memory." So why not have a party. I am catholic and I am sure there are certain rituals dealing with death but it my life and I want to end it my way.

It make you think who is going to be at my funeral? What is my wife going to do? Will my kids be ok, the future ones atleast? My mom and dad will they still be here? My borthers? It is sad when you think that when we go we leave so many people behind. They say when you go you just don't leave your family when you go but everyone you have ever met and touched with your life. Well will all those people show up to your funeral? Depressing I know but we have to die sometime I just wish that I live my life with every possible thing that I can do cause "shit happens" when you don't expect it. I tell my wife that I live her everyday cause I do and well you never know. Live your life and everyday, and everyday you know we will have lived.